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Thanksgiving Jokes

(Total Poems: 4 | Viewed: 5825 times)

Blonde Thanksgiving Dinner

It was the first time the blonde was eating Thanksgiving dinner without her family. Trying to re-enact the tradition, she prepared a dinner for herself alone. The next day, her mother called to see how everything went.

“Oh, mother, I made myself a lovely dinner, but I had so much trouble trying to eat the turkey!” said the daughter.

“Did it not taste good?” her mother asked.

“I don’t know,” the blonde said. “It wouldn’t sit still!”
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(Votes:3)

Thanksgiving in the UK

A few years ago, an American and a British journalist were discussing Thanksgiving on a British radio program. The American asked if Thanksgiving was celebrated in the UK.

“Yes,” the British journalist replied, “but we celebrate it on the 6th of September.”

“Why then?”

“That’s when you chaps left.”
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(Votes:1)

Thanksgiving Break Up

A man in Florida, in his 80s, calls his son in New York one November day.

The father says to the son, “I hate to tell you, but we’ve got some troubles here in the house. Your mother and I can’t stand each other anymore, and we’re getting a divorce. I’ve had it! I want to live out the rest of my years in peace. I’m telling you now, so you and your sister shouldn’t go into shock later when I move out.”

He hangs up, and the son immediately calls his sister in the Hamptons and tells her the news.

The sister says, “I’ll handle this.”

She calls Florida and says to her father, “Don’t do ANYTHING till we get there! We’ll be there Wednesday night.”

The father agrees, “All right.”

The old man hangs up the phone and hollers to his wife, “Okay, they’re coming for Thanksgiving. Now, what are we going to tell them for Christmas?”
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(Votes:3)

A Talking Christmas Present

As an early Christmas present, a man gets a talking parrot from his friend. He takes the parrot home and puts it in his living room.

But every time the man goes near the living room, he hears the parrot shouting insults at him. In desperation, he puts the parrot in the freezer.

After a few minutes, the insults stop. Thinking he might have killed the parrot, he takes it out of the freezer. The parrot is still alive, but it is shivering.

It stammers, “I’m s-sorry for b-b-being s-so rude. P-p-please forgive m-me.”

So the man forgives him. After a while the parrot asks, “What exactly did the turkey do?”
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(Votes:2)
 

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