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Sports Jokes

(Total Poems: 14 | Viewed: 6715 times)

Jogging Shoes

Deciding to take up jogging, the middle-aged man was astounded by the wide selection of jogging shoes available at the local sports shoe store. While trying on a basic pair of jogging shoe, he noticed a minor feature and asked the clerk about it. “What’s this little pocket thing here on the side for?” “Oh, that’s to carry spare change so you can call your wife to come pick you up when you’ve jogged too far.”
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(Votes:0)

First Football Game

A guy took his girlfriend to her first football game. Afterward he asked her how she like the game.

‘I liked it, but I couldn’t understand why they were killing each other for 25 cents,’ she said.

‘What do you mean?’ he asked.

‘Well, everyone kept yelling, ‘Get the quarter back!’
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(Votes:6)

Putting up with Jocks

The basketball coach stormed into the university president’s office and demanded a raise right then and there.

“Please,” protested the college President, “you already make more than the entire History department.”

“Yeah, maybe so, but you don’t know what I have to put up with,” the coach blustered. “Look.”

He went out into the hall and grabbed a jock who was jogging down the hallway. “Run over to my office and see if I’m there,” he ordered.

Twenty minutes later the jock returned, sweaty and out of breath.

“You’re not there, sir,” he reported.

“Oh, I see what you mean,” conceded the President, scratching his head. “I would have phoned.”
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(Votes:2)

Baseball in Heaven

Two old men had been best friends for years, and they both live to their early 90’s, when one of them suddenly falls deathly ill. His friend comes to visit him on his deathbed, and they’re reminiscing about their long friendship, when the dying man’s friend asks, “Listen, when you die, do me a favor. I want to know if there’s baseball in heaven.”

The dying man said, “We’ve been friends for years, this I’ll do for you.” And then he dies. A couple days later, his surviving friend is sleeping when he hears his friend’s voice. The voice says, “I’ve got some good news and some bad news. The good news is that there’s baseball in heaven.”

“What’s the bad news?”

“The bad news is that you’re pitching on Wednesday.”
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(Votes:4)

Sports Commentator Bloopers

Greg Norman, Pro Golfer: “I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father.”

Grand Prix Race Announcer: “The lead car is absolutely, truly unique, except for the one behind it which is exactly identical to the one in front of the similar one in back.”

Baseball announcer: “If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again.”

Ringside Boxing Analyst: “Sure there have been injuries and even some deaths in boxing – but none of them really that serious.”

Basketball analyst: “He dribbles a lot and the opposition doesn’t like it. In fact you can see it all over their faces.”
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(Votes:1)
 

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