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Shopping Jokes

(Total Poems: 14 | Viewed: 12312 times)

Wonderful Coffee

Customer to waiter: Everyday you charge me money for a cup of coffee. It will be wonderful if you serve me coffee free of cost today.

Waiter: Sir, everyday you drink coffee from a filled cup. It will be wonderful if you drink it from an empty cup today.
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2
(Votes:6)

Price Of Oranges

Mrs. Goldberg was shopping at a produce stand in her neighborhood. She approached the vendor and asked, “How much are these oranges?”

“Two for a quarter,” answered the vendor.

“How much is just one?” she asked.

“Fifteen cents,” answered the vendor.

“Then I’ll take the other one,” said Mrs. Goldberg.
1
3
(Votes:4)

The Crowded Store

It was the day of the big sale. Rumors of the sale (and some advertising in the local paper) were the main reason for the long line that formed by 8:30, the store’s opening time, in front of the store.

A small man pushed his way to the front of the line, only to be pushed back, amid loud and colorful curses. On the man’s second attempt, he was punched square in the jaw, and knocked around a bit, and then thrown to the end of the line again. As he got up the second time, he said to the person at the end of the line…

“That does it! If they hit me one more time, I won’t open the store!”
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0
(Votes:4)

Yard Sale

A woman was taking her time browsing through everything at a friend’s yard sale, and said to her, “My husband is going to be very angry I stopped at a yard sale.”

“I’m sure he’ll understand when you tell him about all the bargains you found,” her friend replied.

“Normally, yes,” she said. “But he just broke his leg, and he’s waiting for me to take him to the hospital to have it set.”
3
1
(Votes:4)

Caught Stealing

A shoplifter was caught red-handed trying to steal a watch from an exclusive jewelry store. “Listen,” said the shoplifter, “I know you don’t want any trouble either. What do you say I just buy the watch, and we forget about this?”

The manager agreed and wrote up the sales slip. The crook looked at the slip and said, “This is a little more than I intended to spend. Can you show me something less expensive?”
0
3
(Votes:3)
 

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