123Tagged
Graphics, LOLs & Fun
Watch Latest Movies Online FREE!
Search Site:

Seniors Jokes

(Total Poems: 38 | Viewed: 7932 times)

Jogging Shoes

Deciding to take up jogging, the middle-aged man was astounded by the wide selection of jogging shoes available at the local sports shoe store. While trying on a basic pair of jogging shoe, he noticed a minor feature and asked the clerk about it. “What’s this little pocket thing here on the side for?” “Oh, that’s to carry spare change so you can call your wife to come pick you up when you’ve jogged too far.”
5
0
(Votes:5)

Red Lights

Two elderly women were out driving in a large car. Both could barely see over the dashboard. Cruising along, they came to an intersection. The stoplight was red, but they just went on through. The woman in the passenger seat thought, “I must be losing my mind. I swear we just went through a red light.”

A few minutes later, they came to another intersection, and the light was red again. Again, they went right through. This time, the woman in the passenger seat was almost sure that the light had been red but was really concerned that she was mistaken. She was getting nervous and decided to pay very close attention to the next intersection to see what was going on.

At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was definitely red, and yet they went right through. She turned to the woman driving and said, “Dear! Did you know we just ran through three red lights in a row! You could have killed us!”

Mildred turned to her and said, “Oh, am I driving?”
3
0
(Votes:3)

Old Couple Pulled Over

An elderly couple was driving across the country. While the woman was behind the wheel, the couple was pulled over by the highway patrol.

“Ma’am, did you know you were speeding?” the officer said.

The woman, hard of hearing, turned to her husband and asked, “What did he say?”

“He said you were speeding!” the old man yelled.

The patrolman then asked, “May I see your license?”

The woman turned to her husband again, “What did he say?”

The old man yelled back, “He wants to see your license!”

The woman then gave the officer her license.

“I see you are from Arkansas,” the patrolman said. “I spent some time there once and went on a blind date with the ugliest woman I’ve ever seen.”

The woman turned to her husband again and asked, “What did he say?”

The old man replied, “He said he knows you!”
3
0
(Votes:3)

Not For Lunch

My husband retired, and for the first time in over 40 years I had to think about preparing midday meals.

Tired of it after several months, I said, “I married you for better or worse, but not for lunch.”

“Fair enough. From now on I’ll make my own,” he replied.

A few weeks later he had to go downtown on business and invited me to join him after wards.

“We could have lunch at that Chinese place we both like,” he suggested.

I happily agreed. At the restaurant the next day we were seated, and the waiter came to take our order.

My husband looked up, a twinkle in his eyes and said, “Separate checks, please…”
3
0
(Votes:3)

Fast Delivery

A old woman took a package to the post office to mail and was told it would cost $3.95 for fast delivery or $2.30 for slower service.

“There is no hurry,” she told the clerk, “just so the package is delivered in my lifetime.”

He glanced at her and said, “That will be $3.95, please.”
2
0
(Votes:2)
 

What Junk Food Does to You.. (27 Photos)

What Mornings Are Like.. (26 Photos)

Awesome Nail Art (25 Photos)

32 Photobombs You Don’t Want on Your Weddings

Couple Work Out.. (25 Photos)