123Tagged
Graphics, LOLs & Fun
Watch Latest Movies Online FREE!
Search Site:

Science Jokes

(Total Poems: 16 | Viewed: 7257 times)

Intelligent Life

It was a celebratory mood with the boys at NASA — they had just made the scientific achievement of a lifetime. As they were uncorking a bottle of champagne, the head scientist at NASA asked everyone to be quiet as he was receiving a congratulatory phone call from the President of the United States.

He picked up a special red phone, and spoke into it. “Mr. President,” he said with a broad smile on his face, “After twelve years of hard research and billions of dollars spent, we have finally found intelligent life on Mars.”

He listened for a second, and his smile gradually disappeared, replaced by a frown. He said, “But that’s impossible… we could never do it… yes, Mr. President,” and hung up the phone.

He addressed the crowd of scientists staring at him curiously. “I have some bad news,” he said, “the President said that now that we’ve found intelligent life on Mars… he wants us to try to find it in the Congress.”
0
0
(Votes:0)

Space Monkeys

NASA decided to send a shuttle into space with two monkeys and an astronaut. They trained them for months. Then when they thought they were ready, they placed all three in the shuttle and got ready to send them up into space.

As the moment came closer NASA’s mission control center announced, “This is mission control to Monkey One. Initiate!”

At that the first monkey started typing like mad and suddenly the shuttle’s engines ignited and the shuttle took off.

Two hours later NASA’s mission control center announced, “This is mission control to Monkey Two. Initiate!”

At that the second monkey started typing like mad and suddenly the shuttle separated from the empty fuel tanks.

Another two hours later mission control announced, “This is mission control to the astronaut…”

At this the astronaut responded “I know, I know. Feed the monkeys and don’t touch anything.”
1
0
(Votes:1)

You are a Nerd If…

If you have more toys than your kids

If you need a checklist to turn on the TV

If your I.Q. number is bigger than your weight

If you have introduced your kids by the wrong name

If you can remember 7 computer passwords but not your anniversary

If you have a habit of destroying things in order to see how they work

If you rotate your screen savers more frequently than your automobile tires

If the microphone or visual aids at a meeting don’t work and you rush up to the front to fix it

If you have a functioning home copier machine, but every toaster you own turns bread into charcoal

If you have memorized the program scheduled for the Discovery channel and have seen most of the shows already
0
0
(Votes:0)

Hydrogen Atoms

Two hydrogen atoms bumped into each other recently.

One said: “Why do you look so sad?”

The other responded: “I lost an electron.”

Concerned, One asked “Are you sure?”

The other replied “I’m positive.”
0
0
(Votes:0)

Get Your Own

One day a group of scientists got together and decided that man had come a long way and no longer needed God. So they picked one scientist to go and tell Him that they were done with Him.

The scientist walked up to God and said, “God, we’ve decided that we no longer need you. We’re to the point that we can clone people and do many miraculous things, so why don’t you just go on and get lost?”

God listened very patiently and kindly to the man. After the scientist was done talking, God said, “Very well, how about this? Let’s say we have a man-making contest.” To which the scientist replied, “Okay, great!”

But, God added, “Now, we’re going to do this just like I did back in the old days with Adam.”

The scientist said, “Sure, no problem” and bent down and grabbed himself a handful of dirt.

God looked at him and said, “No, no, no. You go get your own dirt.”
0
0
(Votes:0)
 

Dude Has the Most Awful Lips Modification (36 Photos)

20 Funny People On Rollercoasters

20 Celebs Spotted Picking Nose

26 Epic Horror Movie Tattoos

21 People Having A Bad Day