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Salesman Jokes

(Total Poems: 14 | Viewed: 10357 times)

Relaxing Weekends

Getting away from their high-stress jobs, a couple spends relaxing weekends in their motor home. When they found their peace and quiet disturbed by well-meaning, but unwelcome, visits from other campers, they devised a plan to assure themselves some privacy.

Now, when they set up camp, they place this sign on the door of their RV:

“Insurance agent. Ask about our term-life package.”
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1
(Votes:2)

Competition

Two salesmen were having coffee together and one was telling the other:

“We’ve got a terrific sales competition going at our place. The fellow who writes the biggest percentage over target for the quarter gets a holiday for two in the south of France with all expenses paid. The fellow who’s second highest gets a tailor-made suit with an extra pair of trousers, and the fellow who’s third gets a dozen shirts.”

The other rep looked gloomily at his coffee for a moment.

“We’re having a sales competition at our place too. The fellow that wins it keeps his job.”
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(Votes:2)

A Pomeranian

When Rupert was shown in to see his customer, Mr Jones was staring out the window disconsolately.

“What seems to be the trouble?”

“I promised my wife a Pomeranian and the cheapest one I can get is $200. It’s too much.”

“You’re right. I can sell you one for $125.”

“Great! When can you deliver it?”

“I’ll let you know.”

Once outside he rushed to a public telephone and rang his sales manager.

“Listen. I’ve just sold old Jonesy a Pomeranian for $125. What the hell is a Pomeranian?”
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2
(Votes:3)

Church Example

A salesman for the local paper called on Riley the chemist.

“No way. I’ve been in business forty-one years and never spent a penny on advertising yet.”

“Really? Then you can tell me, what is that handsome building on the top of the hill?”

“That’s St Catherine’s church.”

“Been there long?”

“Over a hundred years.”

“They still ring the bell, don’t they?”
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(Votes:1)

All I Want Is A Beer

It was hot and dry and dusty. To make matters ten times worse there was a beer shortage. A rep walked into a bar and ordered a beer.

“Are you an RC?”

“What difference does religion make? All I want is a beer.”

“What I meant was, are you a regular customer?”

The rep admitted that he wasn’t and walked down the street to another pub. Once in the bar he said to the girl:

“I’m an RC, and I want a couple of beers.”

“I don’t care about your religion, but where are your glasses?”

“I don’t wear them.”

The girl was exasperated.

“Beer glasses, mate. Ours were all busted last night in a brawl.”

There was one pub left in the town. When he walked into the bar he spotted two glasses on the window sill. He grabbed them and took them to the bar. The barmaid looked at them.

“What are you trying to do? You’ve had your quota.”
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(Votes:1)
 

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