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Political Jokes

(Total Poems: 8 | Viewed: 6770 times)

Biggest Mistake

One day George Bush was out jogging and accidentally fell from a ridge into a very cold river. Three boys, playing along the river, saw the accident. Without a second thought, they jumped in the water and dragged the wet president out of the river.

After cleaning up he said, “Boys, you saved the President of the United States today. You deserve a reward. You name it, I’ll give it to you.”

The first boy said, “Please, I’d like a ticket to Disneyland!”

“I’ll personally hand it to you,” said Mr. Bush.

“I’d like a pair of Nike Air Turbos,” the second boy said.

“I’ll buy them myself and give them to you,” said the grateful Bush.

“And I’d like a wheelchair with a stereo in it,” said the third boy.

“I’ll personally … wait a second, son, you’re not handicapped!”

“No — but I will be when my dad finds out I saved you from drowning.”
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(Votes:5)

Out Of Control

At a recent interview, it seems that Bill Clinton broke out in rage after being asked a line of questions about him being controlled.

Interviewer: “Who pulls your strings, Bill? What special interests control you?”

Clinton (visibly upset): “You leave Hillary out of this!”
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(Votes:2)

Making Happy

Al Gore and the Clintons are flying on Air Force One. Bill looks at Al, chuckles and says, “You know, I could throw a $10,000 bill out the window right now and make one person very happy.”

Al shrugs his stiff shoulders and says, “Well, I could throw ten $1,000 bills out the window and make 10 people very happy”.

Hillary tosses her perfectly sprayed hair and says, “Of course, then, I could throw one-hundred $100 bills out the window and make a hundred people very happy.”

Chelsea rolls her eyes, looks at all of them and says, “I could throw all of you out the window and make the whole country happy.”
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(Votes:0)

Intelligent Car Radio

A lady bought a new $100,000 Mercedes and proudly drove it off the showroom floor to take home. Halfway home, she attempted to change radio stations and saw that there appeared to be only one station. She immediately turned around and headed back to the dealer.

Once at the dealer, she found her salesman and began to excitedly explain that her radio was not working, and they must replace it since she only had one radio station. The salesman calmed her down and told her that her car radio was voice-activated, and that she would only need to state aloud the type of music that she wanted and the car would find it.

She got into the car and started the engine and then said the word “country,” and the radio changed to a station playing a George Strait song. She was satisfied and started home. After a while she decided to try out the radio and said “rock ‘n’ roll;” the radio station changed and a song by the Rolling Stones came from the speakers. Quite pleased, the woman continued driving.

A few blocks from her house, another driver ran a light causing her to slam on her brakes to avoid a collision. The woman angrily exclaimed, “idiot!”

…The radio cut over to George Bush’s press conference.
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(Votes:1)

A Tale Of Two Pigs

Clinton returns from a vacation in Arkansas and walks down the steps of Air Force One with two pigs under his arms.

At the bottom of the steps, the honor guardsman steps forward and remarks, “Nice pigs, Mr. President”

Clinton replies, “I’ll have to let you know that these are genuine Arkansas Razorback Hogs. I got this one for Chelsea and this one for Hillary.. So, now what do you think?”

The honor guardsman answers: “Nice trade, Sir.”
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(Votes:1)
 

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