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Medical Jokes

(Total Poems: 18 | Viewed: 7226 times)

At a Dentist’s

Dentist: “Would you help me out? I’d like you to give a few of your loudest screams.” Patient: “Why, Doc? It isn’t all that bad this time.” Dentist: “Well, there are about 20 people in the waiting room right now, and I don’t want to miss the five o’clock Braves game on Channel 4.”
3
0
(Votes:3)

Actual Answer from a Medical Student

While making his rounds, a doctor points out an x-ray to a group of medical students.

“As you can see,” he says, “the patient limps because his left fibula and tibia are radically arched.”

The doctor turns to one of the students and asks, “What would you do in a case like this?”

“Well,” ponders the student, “I suppose I’d limp, too.”
3
1
(Votes:4)

Glass Eye

Nurse: Doctor, there is a man in the waiting room with a glass eye named Brown.

Doctor: What does he call his other eye?
6
0
(Votes:6)

Artistic Patient

A doctor has come to see one of his patients in a hospital. The patient has had major surgery to both of his hands.

“Doctor,” says the man excitedly and dramatically holds up his heavily bandaged hands. “Will I be able to play the piano when these bandages come off?”

“I don’t see why not,” replies the doctor.

“That’s funny,” says the man. “I wasn’t able to play it before.”
2
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(Votes:2)

Crazy Patients

A doctor of psychology was doing his normal morning rounds when he entered a patient’s room.

He found Patient #1 sitting on the floor, pretending to saw a piece of wood in half.

Patient #2 was hanging from the ceiling, by his feet.

The doctor asked patient number 1 what he was doing.

The patient replied, “Can’t you see I’m sawing this piece of wood in half?”

The doctor inquired of Patient #1 what Patient #2 was doing.

Patient #1 replied, “Oh. He’s my friend, but he’s a little crazy. He thinks he’s a lightbulb.”

The doctor looks up and notices Patient #2’s face is going all red.

The doctor asks Patient #1, “If he’s your friend, you should get him down from there before he hurts himself”

Patient #1 replies, “What? And work in the dark?”
2
0
(Votes:2)
 

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