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Math Jokes

(Total Poems: 13 | Viewed: 8092 times)

The Math One Liners

Math problems? Call 1-800-[(10x)(13i)^2]-[sin(xy)/2.362x].

If parallel lines meet at infinity – infinity must be a very noisy place with all those lines crashing together!

Zenophobia: the irrational fear of convergent sequences.

Philosophy is a game with objectives and no rules. Mathematics is a game with rules and no objectives.

If I had only one day left to live, I would live it in my statistics class: it would seem so much longer.

Maths Teacher: Now suppose the number of sheep is x…
Student: Yes sir, but what happens if the number of sheep is not x?
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(Votes:2)

Football Math Test

A football coach walked into the locker room before a game, looked over to his star player and said, “I’m not supposed to let you play since you failed math, but we need you in there. So, what I have to do is ask you a math question, and if you get it right, you can play.”

The player agreed, and the coach looked into his eyes intently and asks, “Okay, now concentrate hard and tell me the answer to this. What is two plus two?”

The player thought for a moment and then he answered, “4?”

“Did you say 4?” the coach exclaimed, excited that he got it right.

At that, all the other players on the team began screaming, “Come on coach, give him another chance!”
4
2
(Votes:6)

What Is PI

Several scientists were all posed the following question: “What is pi ?”

The engineer said: “It is approximately 3 and 1/7″

The physicist said: “It is 3.14159″

The mathematician thought a bit, and replied “It is equal to pi”.

A nutritionist: “Pie is a healthy and delicious dessert!”
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1
(Votes:2)

New Math

A boy was teaching a girl arithmetic, he said it was his mission.

He kissed her once; he kissed her twice and said, “Now that’s addition.”

In silent satisfaction, she sweetly gave the kisses back and said, “Now that’s subtraction.”

Then he kissed her, she kissed him, without an explanation.

And both together smiled and said, “That’s
multiplication.”

Then her Dad appeared upon the scene and made a quick decision.

He kicked that boy three blocks away and said, “That’s long division!”
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(Votes:5)

Three Is Equal To Four

Theorem: 3=4
Proof:

Suppose:
a + b = c

This can also be written as:
4a – 3a + 4b – 3b = 4c – 3c

After reorganizing:
4a + 4b – 4c = 3a + 3b – 3c

Take the constants out of the brackets:
4 * (a+b-c) = 3 * (a+b-c)

Remove the same term left and right:
4 = 3
LOL
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0
(Votes:5)
 

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