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Doctor Jokes

(Total Poems: 20 | Viewed: 8411 times)

At a Dentist’s

Dentist: “Would you help me out? I’d like you to give a few of your loudest screams.” Patient: “Why, Doc? It isn’t all that bad this time.” Dentist: “Well, there are about 20 people in the waiting room right now, and I don’t want to miss the five o’clock Braves game on Channel 4.”
3
2
(Votes:5)

Pneumonia

A man went to see his doctor because he was suffering from a miserable cold. His doctor prescribed some pills, but they didn’t help.On his next visit the doctor gave him a shot, but that didn’t do any good.On his third visit the doctor told the man to go home and take a hot bath. As soon as he was finished bathing he was to throw open all the windows and stand in the draft.”But doc,” protested the patient, “if I do that, I’ll get pneumonia.”"I know,” said his physician. “I can cure pneumonia.”
3
0
(Votes:3)

Too Late

The orthopaedic surgeon I work for was moving to a new office, and his staff was helping transport many of the items.

I sat the display skeleton in the front of my car, and had fastened the seatbelt around it to stop it falling over. I hadn’t considered the drive across town.

At one traffic light, the stares of the people in the car beside me became obvious, and I looked across and explained, “I’m delivering him to my doctor’s office.”

The other driver leaned out of his window. “I hate to tell you, man,” he said, “but I think it’s too late!”
6
1
(Votes:7)

In Safe Hands

Patient: Doctor I heard 10 percent of the total patients undergoing this surgery die.

Doctor: Don’t worry man, those 10 percent patients operated by me are already dead. Now it’s the turn of the 90 percent survivors.
6
1
(Votes:7)

Dentist’s Thinking

Patient: “It must be tough spending all day with your hands in someone’s mouth.”

Dentist: “I just think of it as having my hands in their wallet.”
5
2
(Votes:7)
 

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